At certain levels, anxiety and stress can be helpful. When we experience these feelings, our brains are telling us that something important is at stake and that we need to be alert and ready to act. While we might prefer to feel completely relaxed while studying for a test, having a difficult conversation with a loved one, asking for a raise, or proposing to a significant other, anxiety and stress may actually help us perform better.

However, as with most feelings, there is a tipping point. Not all levels of anxiety or stress are helpful. When anxiety and stress lead to thoughts, behaviors, and avoidance patterns that actually impede our performance and limit our ability to work toward our goals (even if the goal is to sit still and enjoy watching a movie), it may be time to ask for some extra support.

I help clients coexist with healthy levels of stress and anxiety by teaching about anxiety’s effects on the brain and body and by helping clients cultivate practices of acceptance and self-compassion. Tipping the anxiety and stress scale back into a functional range can take time, but it is worth it. You can learn to learn to ride the waves of overwhelming feelings and channel anxiety and stress in meaningful ways.